Childhood Trauma and your Nervous System: Finding Safety in your Body
Childhood trauma impacts how your nervous system responds to stress and different experiences. For example, hearing yelling as an adult can take you into a fight or flight response if yelling in your home was frequent and dangerous as a child.
Or you may start to shut down and go into a freeze response when someone criticizes you because as a child you experienced emotional abuse.
Fight or flight and freeze are both survival responses. It’s your nervous system kicking in and saying, “This was bad last time. Stay alert.” or, “This was really painful last time” and your body starts to shut down or leave the situation however you can. These are not always conscious thoughts - It is often your body releasing something that is stored there.
In these situations, our nervous system is trying to help but often causes more harm than help! If the abuse and traumas that you experienced were frequent, you may notice that you are moving in and out of these survival responses multiple times a day - leaving you feeling exhausted, confused and stuck.
Regulating your Nervous System
Regulating your nervous system means establishing a sense of safety in your body. It means being attuned to changes and cues, such as increased heart rate, racing thoughts, or feeling invisible. Being attuned and connected to these sensations allows you to feel more control over your responses to different situations.
When we get into a survival response, we lose our ability to think critically and focus on engaging socially. We feel disconnected from the people around us and disconnected from ourselves. We lose our capacity to problem solve and look at the big picture. We often become reactive because our body is telling us that we need to protect ourselves instead of connect to the people around us.
Without the ability to regulate your nervous system, your health is negatively impacted. Back pain, stomach issues, fatigue and body tension are common if you are frequently going in and out of your window of tolerance. Your social relationships are impacted because you may be reactive, shut down or replay past traumas in current situations. Mental health suffers also, with increased negative self-talk, feelings of helplessness and difficulty reaching out for support.
In this blog post, we’ll walk through ways to identify if you are moving into a survival response so that you can start to regulate yourself. You’ll also learn about your window of tolerance and how to stay there in times of stress.
Survival Responses and the Window of Tolerance
Our nervous system is supposed to go into a survival response when we are in danger. However with childhood trauma, your body will go into a survival response if something in your environment is similar to a past trauma, even if you are not currently in danger. This happens because your stress response is over-functioning and linking the current situation to a past event (that was probably unsafe or made you feel alone/worthless).
These responses cause you to react in a way that you wouldn’t when you are in your window of tolerance. In your window, you are able to take a step back and choose how you want to respond to something that is stressful or disappointing. When we are in a survival response we are more reactive, and afterwards may feel shame and frustration with ourselves. We may also start to feel stuck the more that this happens.
Why do we go into Survival Responses?
We go into survival responses for multiple reasons. These include:
Fear of - abandonment, rejection, loss of control, loss of safety, feeling like you don’t exist.
Negative beliefs about yourself from past trauma are triggered and you have difficulty differentiating the past from the present because they feel similar.
We are in mortal danger
How to Regulate your Nervous System
Mindfulness - Be aware of your cues to going into survival responses and try to label them in the moment
Focus on your body
Shake it out
Shower
Drink a cold water or hot beverage
Go outside
Stretch
Rub your neck
Exercise
Walk around
3. Ground and re-focus on what you’re doing. If you cannot redirect, start from the top and repeat the steps
4. Repeat this until you feel like yourself again
Expanding your Window of Tolerance
Once you start to consistently implement the practices above, you slowly rewire your nervous system by allowing it to have different experiences with the same stressors. For example, you may teach your body that a critical comment doesn’t need to activate fight or flight and that you have a multitude of ways you can respond. If you have a complex or long trauma history, working with a therapist can help you go through this process without overwhelming or re-traumatiing yourself. A trauma therapist can help guide you through this process so that you don't keep replaying the past trauma and instead can have a new experience with the feeling.
In Conclusion
Trauma is stored in your body and comes up in your reactions. A current stressor can cause you to respond as if a past situation is repeating, even if it isn’t. So healing from trauma means focusing on your body, not just your mind.
If you are struggling to find safety in your life, relationships and yourself - start by focusing on your body. If you have a severe trauma history, it is recommended that you begin this work with a mental health professional to avoid re-traumatization.
Remember, this is a practice that takes time and repetition. When you first start practicing, you will likely notice after the fact that you went out of your window of tolerance. Slowly you will start to notice soon enough to intervene and do something differently. Stay curious and be kind to yourself as you grow through this.
Start Rewiring your Nervous System and Expanding your Window of Tolerance
If you live in Nevada, take the first step and schedule a free consultation call with me to discuss your goals and to start your healing process!
Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as legal, financial, or medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional advice of your own attorney, accountant, physician, or financial advisor. Always check with your own physician, attorney, financial advisor, accountant, or other business or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
